Eee by #eck im a stoned as high as kite and WOO..”
I thought I’d give this weed malarkey a try.
I’m not an avid drug taker, but I thought I’d dabble in it.
I like to dabble in things.
It feels like you’re skirting around something, but are far to sassy to make things a permanent fixture in your lifestyle.
I tended to avoid it. My uncle had masked his mental health issues with weed for at least 40 years and now spends his life listening to Electronica and claiming Job Seekers Allowance. I think he was made to pick up litter the other week. I feel so proud. He was the Heisenburg of a small Welsh village for a while.
So this night,I thought I’d try a spliff.
It’s something I’ve not really done since going a little crazy on a weed in Amsterdam about 7 years ago, via a Marijuana Muffin and a Doobie doughnut . I got a little too high.
This night, I had a massive urge to listen to ‘Pass the Dutchie’ by Musical Youth, or anything by Bob Marley.
I had a few drags and was fine, I probably thought I looked cool with this big white cone sticking out my mouth. I had another drag later on and *boom.* My head was buzzing, my eyes felt very droopy. I didn’t want to move, I wanted to enjoy the buzz.
It had hit. The hoover then turned into a gun. I felt so happy. Like nothing mattered any more. All the madness, the perils of work and any over thinking was gone. I was ecstatic, floaty and buzzing. Like a wasp drunk on honey.
I felt a solid connection with my friend, and we cuddled, we kissed. I decided to record some videos so I could remember the madness and it wouldn’t be a fleeting memory, a ‘green haze’. I scoured Youtube for fun things to watch when you’re high, for some reason Eels from The Mighty Boosh appealed. It was so delightfully weird but it made so little sense.
I started to giggle at everything. Everything was so damn funny. I felt I was ticking off the get high check list.
Then I got hungry, boy I needed to be fed. Get in my belly. I wolfed down chocolate… and it tasted amazing, the chocolately creamy goodness. It was only chocolate but it felt the tasty gauge had been increased by 400%, my friend then offered me cookies, I quickly devoured them, probably sending chocolate chips everywhere.
I then gave a speech about how I judged drug users for taking drugs but it was ironic I was dabbling myself. That I can’t judge them when I’m so happy right now, actually happier than usual. Like ecstatic and high.
I did this whilst speaking like Mr Mackay from South Park, ending every sentence with mmmkay.
I just felt so content. I briefly went home and my housemate and his girlfriend had turned the place into their private cinema. I made a funny noise, guzzled strawberry yoghurt with no spoon and then left.
We went out to the local rock bar and I got struck by a headache. I felt so shattered. I guess this is the comedown I contemplated. I drank some energy drink but I think my body was in no way ready for this crazy intoxication. I saw an ex but kept my head down to avoid any dramatics.
I was dancing like mad, breaking down the moves like Travolta. Or Travesty. Though deep down I wanted to go back to bed. The high had lifted.
As I got back, I continued to type this up, but all I could is red spelling mistakes. I felt like a very challenged schoolchild trying to write a taxing essay, but knowing deep down that he’s only good at football, and likely receive an F
I’ll leave you with the last message I wrote. I think it’s my way of saying goodnight to you all.
“i CANT 3WAIT TO READ THIS BACK WHEN IM SOBER.
APPREBTK,Y U WUKK KA”
Yearning for more? Oh go on then: